What You Can Bring
- Books for Mom and Dad: Preemies: The Essential Guide for Parents of Premature Babies by Dana Wechsler and The Premature Baby Book.... by Dr. Sears' seem to be the 2 favorites of preemie moms.
- Another amazing book for parents, specifically those whose child is in the NICU: Newborn Intensive Care: What Every Parent Needs to Know by Jeanette Zaichkin. This book was loaned to my by a very good friend who is a NICU nurse. It is so very informational and very helpful in clear terms that will help you understand all of the medical treatments that your little one is going through.
- Books to read the baby are a good suggestion for parents spending many hours in the NICU.
- Gift cards: restaurants around the hospital, gas cards (travel back and forth to the NICU can get expensive)
- Frozen meals (mixed reviews on this, some moms said they didn't use these, some said they loved them)
- Goody bags for long days in the NICU: magazines, snacks (especially for breast feeding/pumping moms), crossword puzzles, a journal to record NICU days.
- Clothes for baby. Most NICUs allow preemies to wear clothes from home after they reach certain milestones. Each NICU has different standards as to what they will and won't allow, so make sure you ask before you buy something. Preemie size is best, but newborn size works too (its ok if the clothes are too big). Kimono style tops are great. It's a nice feeling to do something "normal" like dress your baby in something cute.
- Buy a disposable camara that can be left for the NICU nurses to take pictures of the baby/babies while the parents are gone. This was a nice surpise for us.
- Rides to and from the NICU are often needed for moms having had c-sections. I was able to walk to the NICU since it was across the hall and I could manage to get there under my own force. With that said, other moms could have used someone to take them to and from their room to the NICU when they were still in the hospital (transport takes forever, although most moms aren't hospitalized too long).
- Offer to visit the NICU with your loved one, or meet them at the hospital or nearby for lunch, dinner, etc.
- Babysitting other children or animals - this was a BIG one!
- Grocery shopping
- Mow the lawn/shovel snow/rake leaves/water plants (indoors and outdoors)
- Cleaning the house, doing laundry, taking out the trash, doing the dishes. These seem like simple things but when you are emotionally drained, it seems like climbing a mountain.
- If you are a decent photographer, offer to take pictures (possibly a family photo) or loan the family a digital camera if they don't have one (or buy them a disposable one).
- Offer to update friends and family for the parents.
- Offer to do baby shopping...lots of families say they didn't feel they had time to spend their days in the NICU and shop for baby.
- Just remind your loved one that you care and are excited for the baby as you would be for any other baby. Send congratulatory cards, send text messages to say you are thinking of them, fawn over pictures of the baby.
- Be there to listen and be positive but not to the point of downplaying what the baby/family is going through. "Oh, baby will be fine" is a nice idea, but the reality is many preemies are not "fine" their first year or two of life the way term babies are. Most have some issues, from reflux to developmental delays, to more serious complications. Don't downplay the experience or the journey...just lend an ear, support and hugs.
